Imagine letting go, I mean actually letting go of the inhibitions that hold you back from paving a path of clarity and self discovery. For many, including myself, we find ourselves scrolling through inspirational quotes in times of trouble, seeking an answer from words, and for others, through them. What if I could tell you something that might potentially change your life, would you believe me or simply swipe over to the next advice column? It'll be worth your time, I promise.
I can recall the words I often told others. From classmates, bar patrons, to teachers I announced, 'I'm going to travel the world!' Yet, a tiny part of my soul didn't trust those words because after all, that's all they were. Seeking a life of adventure is a definite struggle when the heart isn't one hundred percent there, even if a strong part of it is telling you to do something. That was my heart, one part fear, one part 'go for it'.
The world is really good at clouding your brain from achieving what you want to do, I know that all too well. For every action there is no doubt some type of consequence. In my case for example, how do I plan to support myself, what about some financial obligations, what if I fail? I think that's the biggest fear, failure. We are programmed to believe that success is measured by the currency in our bank accounts and the brand of clothes on our backs isn't it? Of course that's an exaggeration but what can I say, writers like to do that. Failure is only what you consider it to be, not what your mom or dad and definitely not society thinks it is. Instead of looking at something as a dreaded 'failure', how about measure it as what success means to you. It can be anything, being successful at work, buying a house, painting a picture, absolutely anything. So I practiced with words, almost experimented with them. Eventually they became programmed into my brain, 'after college I want to move to Barcelona'. After saying so many 'I wants' they weren't doing anything for me, so I changed them. I made my dream a priority rather than a desire. Although I found myself in a whirlwind of uncertainty and instability at the beginning, it was the best decision I ever made, ever.
How you ask? How is it possible for a freshly graduated, broke twenty something year old able to flee from his past life to discover a new one? I'll tell you right now that it wasn't easy, I literally counted pennies, rearranged loan repayments, had some awesome parents, and even sold my car. I began to realize and now know that when you want something bad enough, no matter what it may be (within logical reason), you will find a way. I always think of the famous line 'there ain't no mountain high enough' because it's true, it is so true,
So here's what I did. Financial planning was my first priority. I had to talk business, go through friends of friends who made me do things I still have nightmares about... Just kidding about that last part. I did; however, have to make sure that my Student loan providers knew I left the country and they were more supportive than I would have thought, I also had to cancel car insurance, phone contracts, basically all the fun stuff that you want to avoid doing. You'll regret it if you don't.
I soon came face to face with my stubbornness when it came to packing my whole life into a single bag, I can't even tell you how many clothes and useless junk I had to break up with. It was a mutual breakup and some people are very happy to have some of my old treasures. It was the point of no return, it would have been silly to back out at that point. I looked at the collection of things I acquired throughout my college experience and took a minute to reflect on how great those years were, but also took another moment to realize that they were over and nothing I could do would bring them back. People need closure and watching friends take things here and there and those final boxes dropped off at the goodwill did it, a bitter sweet end yet such an exciting future.
A future, which of course, requires you to say goodbye to friends and family. That awkward lump in the throat that doesn't want to go away without some tears, and a final dance at the bars to maintain some level of normalcy, desperately trying to distract yourself from the fact that it is all about to end.That's the hardest part, saying goodbye because material possessions can be replaced and money owed will get paid back. However; traveling, whether it may only be for a year or maybe even less, all your friends, your family, they are saying goodbye to the person they once knew. I say this because the second you step off that plane and immerse yourself into a different lifestyle, you will never be that same person they knew again, ever. It sounds scary but the new you will be stronger, more confident, and incredibly open minded. Empathy and patience will never be foreign words to you, they will be you.
That also goes to say that you mustn't forget that life doesn't stop during the time that you're gone, in fact it seems to move a whole hell of a lot faster. As you enjoy the culture, new food, exotic trips, you'll notice that friends become engaged, brothers start families, and Christmas dinners go on without you. You're probably reconsidering taking that leap now aren't you? Don't. You know why? Because those people will still be there. You will once again be the center of attention at Christmas parties and will have the opportunity to hold your new nephew in your arms as soon as you'd think. What you will not get back is clubbing until 8am, Hiking undiscovered mountains, and making friends with someone you would have never met without the means of transportation that we have today. There is more to my life now than I can honestly begin to explain through words, and besides, I'll let you discover that for yourself. Be strong and I promise that everything, even those 'impossible' creases of your life you thought would never straighten out will take care of themselves in the most satisfying ways.
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