Why 23 Will Be The Best Year Of Your Life (And Every Year After)

I've stumbled upon various songs and articles over the past while, most notably Blink 182's "What's My Age Again," and countless blogs focused around down playing how horrible it actually is to turn 23. While aging, for some, can be a bit terrifying, it is quite honestly up to the "eye of the beholder" as some would say.

Now without discrediting some experiences that others may have had with this particular age, I would like to welcome you into what I have learned since turning the big "23".

1.) You (or at least many) are finally free. Get that? If you're anything like me, you probably jumped right into college directly following graduation. Think about it, you spent sixteen years in high school, and then another four years after that just sober enough to pass all of your classes to become a "grown-up".

Now guess what? Whether you believe it or not, you can do whatever your little heart desires. The sad part is that many people don't realize this and find themselves not enjoying their lives as much as they could be. So instead of following that route, be a free ass bird you little 23 year old, take this opportunity by the gonads and actually do something that you want to do!

I mean come on, you already did what was expected of you by getting that damn diploma anyway, why don't you do a little something for yourself?

2.) With that being said, you are now entitled to fuck around for a year. This seems crazy for me even writing this, but honestly, why not? Too many people stress about money and how it will eventually buy them happiness.

We want to own things and we want to do it as soon as possible. At 23 we won't be judged if we take a little time to find ourselves, in fact, it might just put us that much further ahead than others who didn't take a little risk.

By no means am I saying that it's a bad thing to settle on down, actually, some people need it. My only point here is at 23 you are capable of doing what you want to do now. So let me ask you something:

What would you like to do and why are you not doing it? Is it because of money? If yes, then see my next point.

3.) You're probably broke! Yes! WOO-FREAKING-HOO! This'll probably be a shocker for you as well, but you were broke in college and you're still one broke ass cracker now.

At this moment it may seem like it sucks, but don't think like that. You are attaining trivial knowledge by knowing how to find bars and restaurants with the best deals, making old outfits look like new ones, and utilizing the ability to mix unlikely foods together to create an "exquisite" cuisine.

We knew how to rough it at 22 and dammit we're going to stick it out just a little longer. Keep in mind that money is everywhere and I promise that you're not going to be broke forever, you just won't. As a matter of fact, I'm sure the future you will smile fondly back at the time when you made it all work out.

4.) It's very true that you won't need to party every night because you're beginning to find happiness in the little things.

Some nights, chilling on the couch with a best buddy laughing your ass off at dumb jokes sounds just as fun as raging face at some club. At 23 we get the best of both worlds because we can still go ham if we want to, but we can also find comfort in the tranquil moments as well.

I'm a firm believer that sometimes the party never leaves certain people, and I could name for you at least four over forty-year-old people who thoroughly enjoy being the life of the party. Just because you get a little older doesn't mean you have to be old.

5.) At this point in our lives, we begin to see the people who are going to stick it out through the long haul with us.

I don't really like the sound of this, but honestly, it's true. Indeed, I have many friends who I may not talk to frequently, but I would still walk uphill on a bed of thorns, barefoot, to collect a phone that they had forgotten at the top.

With all that aside, there are still those extra special individuals who will make more of an effort to remain an active presence in your life- even after that diploma is hung and framed.

6.) You get to finally start paving your path a little deeper for what you want to do with your life. Do you want to get a Masters? Do it. Do you want to travel the world with the only bit of savings you actually have? Go for it. Are you ready to start your life professionally? Then dammit, you get out there and you do it, Carol!

One thing to keep in mind is that you are paving the path; you don't have to be anywhere, yet. Explore, experiment, and have a good time doing it.

You can take this year, this 23rd year, and do what you want to do with it. It's up to you and nobody can stop you. What you do with it is all you baby; just don't be one of those people who are too hard on themselves.

Many of us expect to have the world in the palm of our hands. We counted on having fancy cars and having an awesome career set and ready to go. Don't let this catch you by surprise when these things don’t happen because they don’t need to (well, yet anyway). Life is not a race, and it will never be one. The only person who makes it a "competition" is you, and when you start taking life too seriously, you'll find yourself complaining about how terrible it is.

We've all heard this before, but age is just a number, and although every day may not be the best, it certainly won't be the worst (generally speaking that is). It's imperative you take this life to live. Just as 22 was bad-ass, so is 23, 24, and every year after. Just be sure that whatever you do, you won't waste these precious moments because if you do, I hate to break it to you, you will never get them back.

Enjoy 23 you sexy, sexy beasts.

Peace and love from your gay ginger friend,

Korey.

An Open Letter

When you were with me, I felt stronger than I had ever felt in my entire life. You gave a reason to want to succeed, and you helped me learn things that I wouldn't have learned on my own. The months that we were together were the times when I thought I was the very best that I could be. Looking back at such a young love and the powerful emotions which overcame the both of us, I realized that perhaps I wasn't the very best version of myself that I thought I was. Sometimes we find ourselves tangled up in a little world which blinds us from the actuality of events that are occurring right before our eyes, and it sometimes takes something that we didn't want to happen to make us realize this.

I can still remember the many tears I shed the day we decided to call it quits. I mean, it's not everyday that your very best friend and sexual lover disappears without a trace. There were days I thought I wasn't going to make it, the pain was almost too deep to handle. Although I had my friends there to comfort me, they were never able to fill in the spaces in my heart where you once were. I was afraid to look at my phone because a part of me knew there wouldn't be a text from you there, and the other part really wanted there to be one. I wanted with every fiber of my being to hate you, to hate the moments we spent watching old movies and meeting each others families, and yet, I couldn't seem to do it.

I loathed you for everything you made me feel towards the end of our relationship, and I wished that I could have erased you from my brain the few months after. Despite all of the pain, exhaustion, and wanting to move on, I still spent countless hours typing up and erasing messages that I wanted to send you to get you back.. I can vividly remember our last real encounter, sitting under a tree with you where we used to run; me feverishly attempting to persuade you to give me one last chance, but you didn't, and now nearly three years later, I am so incredibly thankful for that.

You helped me change in ways that are hard to put into words, and I hope I helped you too. Now, after all those clouds departed, I have been able to hold my head up high, and I know that I am capable of letting someone, whoever that might be, into my life. You exposed me to the aspects of a relationship I want in my future, but also to the areas that are completely unacceptable. We were young, stupid, and very immature at that time.

 I never thought that I could think of our relationship without heartache and pain; people said the day would come, but I didn't believe them, I didn't want to believe that we were through. You helped pull me out of the rut of the routines that I hated with my life. When we were through, so were many other external forces that were bringing me down. What I didn't know before our relationship was that I had the power within myself to do those things for me.

I'm not sure that I would have had the courage to quit my job, tweak my major, and look for a happier life without our breakup. I would have remained stagnant, I would have remained unhappy. There were so many things I believed were wrong with my life, and unfortunately for you, you had to witness my inner demons. Perhaps you provoked some of them to come out, but they needed to, I needed to identify with them and I have. There was always a silent dark cloud that hovered over me after the death of my oldest brother, at first you pushed those clouds back and I was able to feel bliss, actual pure bliss. As our honeymoon phase dwindled down, the darkness came back for one final battle which came in the form of extreme mood changes and passive aggressive tendencies. For this, I sincerely apologize as there were many mean words that shouldn't have been said.

The time after our relationship was the time I needed, I didn't want to face being alone but that's what helped me become who I am today. I started to take a stand for what I wanted in life, I had convinced myself that I needed to invest myself into another person to feel happy.

So after countless rebounds and failed relationships, I forced myself into remaining single for months, and during this time is when I finally found happiness within myself. There was a spark that just needed a little extra flame, and it transformed me into an actual individual. One who loves to travel, is determined to succeed, and is one hundred percent okay to be alone. The breakup changed me, it changed me a whole hell of a lot in many positive ways.

I have learned that I will not settle for anything in life that will interfere with my happiness; however with that being said, I am also ready to allow the perfect one into my life when the time is right. Thank you for saying no, for telling me that I needed to take care of myself because now I do. I wouldn't be sitting where I am today without you telling me I needed to change, not only for the others who I associate with, but for myself. I have come a long way from the person I was.

It was hard for me to say goodbye and end what we had, but it needed to happen. I needed you so that I could finally become me.  So, thank you for everything, and I hope that you are on your own pursuit for the happiness that you truly deserve.

Surviving Change

In light of a ton of new changes occurring in my present life (moving again, working new jobs, making new friends), I figured now would be a good time to let you know how I have been coping with some of the changes that are sometimes just a little out of my comfort zone.

I think the best, if not the most important thing to do prior to any significant change in your life is to not over think anything. The problems we face as human beings are the anticipations we have for the future. We want instant gratification, but we can't get that by thinking about what will happen next week. So instead, we devote too much time anxiously anticipating what's to come. What happens will happen whether you like it or not, the best thing to do is not let it affect your present being. I mean this time last year you were probably worrying about what you were doing now, right? You my friend are doing A-ok, same goes with your distant and not so distant futures.

I know this is going to sound a bit sucky, but you have to be sure to set your bar low, especially when you're at your most anxious points. By lowering your expectations, you make room for better outcomes. If you didn't expect something extravagantly wonderful in the first place, every little thing that happens is going to seem like gold to you. I like to do this for everything, from simple nights out to the club or long journeys around the country. You'll be doing yourself and the people you are with a favor because it is much easier to go with the flow rather than being disappointed when something that you wanted to happen, didn't.

It is critical at the point of any change to be flexible. Now when I say flexible, I mean it. You need to be open-minded and ready for anything or anybody you might run into. If you're moving into a new place, perhaps it isn't as nice as it was when you first looked at it, or maybe your roommates have some weird tendencies that you hadn't known prior. This is what is going to make or break you because when you are ready to release some of your stubbornness to accommodate a new lifestyle, you're going to have so much more fun.

Now I'm going to slightly contradict myself; even while you are becoming a new open-minded, flexible individual, you need to stand your ground when you need to. If that means telling your roommates they need to quiet down at four in the morning or to clean up after themselves, that's what you need to do. There is a fine line between being free, but also maintaining your own standards by not letting people walk all over you. Adapt to a new way of doing things, yes. Completely feel uncomfortable and unhappy, absolutely not.

Whenever change starts to happen and you are a bit worried, remind yourself that NOTHING is permanent, in fact everything changes so fast, I'm starting to think that my life will forever be a constant roller coaster of change. Enjoy what you have now, even the shitty stuff because those are the moments that provide you with stories for future wine and cheese parties, and the advice points you will give to your children. Embrace what you are doing and be proud of your confidence as you go running full force at these changes with your chin up and mind open.

Be you, be the best you.

---Oh, and never forget to take a bunch of pictures. Those are always nice. :)